On Wednesday, January 17, I will arrive in Jesup, Georgia for a 10-day silent Vipassana meditation course.
You read that right. Ten days of silence. I turn over my phone at the door. There will be 59 other people there that I cannot speak to, including a roommate that I do not know. I cannot bring books or anything to write. (Complete rules here.)
I'm lucky to not be going into this completely blind. My boss has taken this course three times. I've also been practicing meditation for roughly five years now and have done a lot of research. I feel like I know what I'm getting into (even if I'm still worried and overwhelmed by the task).
Meditation for me is a way to calm the "monkey mind," the spiraling, non-stop chatter that happens in my head. Not only is it exhausting, but it raises your cortisol to an unhealthy, constant level. I don't like the person I am when I'm dealing with that level of anxiety. I don't like how I treat people and I want to be better.
I've seen the benefits of meditation on my life. I've been able to stop taking my anxiety medication for the first time in 8 years. I see stressful situation unfold around me, but I don't ride the wave of emotion that I used to. I'm able to respond, instead of react.
But I could be better. I struggle to stay present in the moment. My reliance on my smartphone scares me. I see myself withdrawing in large groups. I'm hoping this course helps me continue my journey.
If you would like resources: I started with Susan Piver's newsletter once a week, graduated to Calm and now use a mix of Tara Brach podcasts and the 10% Happier App.
If you want to learn more about meditation, I highly suggest Dan Harris' book 10% Happier. Like the great journalist he is, he did all the research on meditation for you and his journey has given me the insight and courage to begin and continue.
