Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Value of Good Advice

You can get really good advice when you ask for it.

Around 2006, I was facing the end of another failed relationship. Something about this one didn't sit right. I suspected it wasn't him, it was that I was a spoiled brat. I decided to ask the experts (my ex-boyfriends) a burning question. "Am I difficult?"

Most of them were polite enough not to give a real answer. One, however, fired right back, "It's not that you're difficult. You're immature and unnecessarily confrontational."

A different time, I was thinking about taking a new job. I called my previous supervisor to get his advice. We talked about the job, the responsibilities, the different politics involved. "Here's something else to think about. You're very opinionated, which is great, but when someone makes a decision different from what you recommended, you can be... stubborn about it."

All of the advice was solicited and came from people I really respected. It was also advice I really needed to hear, even if I didn't completely agree. Years later, I've really worked to accept and act on the advice and it often comes to mind when I find myself lapsing into the old bratty me.

So, ask for advice. People that know you best want to help you. You just need to be ready to accept whatever they say.

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