PSA: Poor Tennessee Toth

Reese Witherspoon had a baby today and, bless her heart, she named him Tennessee James Toth. Sure, the Nashville native may be a little homesick and it's a fun name for the former Southerner. For Hollywood, however, it's a little trashy.

I know young Tennessee is just getting acquainted with the world but he could quickly become a cliche. To help out, my lovely friend Molly and I made a list of things he should never do.

1. Visit his grandparents in Nashville.
2. Become a Volunteers or Titans fan.
3. Listen to country music.
4. Run for political office.
5. Use the "You're the only Ten-I-See" pick-up line.
6. Drink Jack Daniels Tennessee Whiskey or become friends with someone named Jack Daniels.
7. Wear a cowboy hat or own a horse.
8. Wear plaid, ever.
9. Marry a girl named Georgia or Virginia.
10. Dress like Elvis.

You're welcome, sir.